Recently I have had a few people comment on how different I am and it has got me thinking! They have noticed things about me have changed and it got me wondering several things…
How am I different? What has changed? How has it happened?
Change is more often than not a gradual process that we don’t really notice, and makes me think of parenting. Your kids change and grow but, because it’s gradual you hardly see the changes although they become self-evident when their clothes don’t fit any more or their shoes turn out to be a size too small when you take them to get new shoes (oh the embarrassment in the shoe shop, how could you let your child walk round in shoes too small!).
So, I thought it would be a good time as we approach the end of 2016 to stand back and take stock. A chance to look back over the last few years and see how the landscape of my life has altered.
I thought it might be a good idea to ask those closest to me what they think too as they spend the most time with me…
Watch this space for a couple of guest blogs from the Lovely Mr B and The Real Noah Brown!!
As far as I can see there is a definite point where my life took a different turn and for those who know me you probably already know what I’m going to say because I have been known to talk about it somewhat! Yes I’m talking about TSM .
Starting this Training for Supernatural Ministry course opened my eyes to a whole new way of living! But, first I had to deal with all my ‘stuff’, my past and all the associated shame that I was carrying around with me about the bad choices I had made.
I had no real understanding of what it meant to be a daughter even though I was saved and loved God. I learnt about my identity in Christ and that meant that I had the authority so that I could and should expect to go around doing the stuff Jesus and his disciples did. I learnt that evangelism is not that difficult but, that we have made it overly complicated. All I had to do was see people through God’s eyes and love them well, whatever that looks like in that moment. Sometimes that means sharing the gospel but not always.
I began to realise that God looks on success in a completely different way to man. He looks at our obedience in doing what he calls us to not the outcome, so suddenly the pressure was lifted and there was no need for performance. What a relief!!
I embraced fear as I came to understand that if we wait for the fear to pass before we move we won’t be going anywhere. You have to feel the fear and do it anyway. I have learnt to constantly press into God because I can do nothing in my own strength but it ALL comes from him. As I have had to lean in I have built an intimate relationship with my father and I know that he delights in me, yes ME!
He has turned my almighty mess into something that brings freedom to others when I talk about it, now that’s radical.
I have been privileged to be in team with many amazing people over the last few years in different contexts, such as NEWDAY and in different ministry teams and have valued all that those people carry and have imparted to me.
I have an insatiable appetite for the more of God and to live a life surrendered to him. I am passionate about other people coming into freedom and to see people equipped and empowered. I am 100% reliant on the precious Holy Spirit to guide my every step and to remain open during my every day to step out with a word of encouragement, prayer for healing or to give a word to anyone he prompts me to.
I have had an epiphany with regard to why I am so emotional and cry so easily. It turns out that God created me to be a highly sensitive person and that means I feel things deeply and have heightened senses and it’s quite normal and there are other people like me!!!!! I’ve learnt that there is no shame in being like this and that God uses my sensitivity to minister to people and it something I love about myself these days.
So, I guess I feel like I have changed from a very quiet, shame filled woman who didn’t really understand what she was called to and was happily plodding along in life in what can only be described as a luke warm manner and not realising that there was another way to live.
Have you ever stopped and taken time out to reflect on your life and where you are at the moment? When we take time to reflect we can see where God has been moving and shaping us and it gives us chance to be grateful.
I am so grateful for all that God has done over the last few years and on reflection I feel like for me life has changed from black and white to living in glorious Technicolor!
It’s available to everyone and I highly recommend it!
I am one grateful daughter.