One of my first ‘Acts of Courage’ on TSM (Training for Supernatural Ministry) had come up rather earlier than I had anticipated as I volunteered to go next to share my testimony (life story). I had no idea what I was letting myself in for!!!
The week leading up to it had been a busy one and I thought about it all week. The challenge before me was to share my life story in its glorious, messy entirety within my ‘Courage Group’. As I thought about the things God wanted me to share I found myself tearful (not unusual) and feeling vulnerable and exposed. There were many times during the week that ‘The Lovely Mr B‘ had to encourage me and build me up to do it. I decided it would be wise to write it down as I would struggle to get it out coherently and so I wrote it by hand over two days (it was hard going revisiting painful stuff from the past). The Lovely Mr B’s support was amazing and he read it for me after I finished as I couldn’t bear to re-read it until the day. There was stuff I had never expressed before even to him.
A couple of lovely friends prayed for me at church on the Sunday which really boosted my courage.
As I arrived on the Tuesday evening a sense of calm settled over me which I know was not my own. A lovely fellow student came up and shared a word she had for me that was spot on and left me in no doubt that God was with me and cheering me on to be courageous.
Before I gave my testimony we had an ‘activation’ evening on the prophetic and took part in fun activities to encourage and support us to hear from God for other people. I found these activities very freeing and it really took the pressure off us as we waited to hear what God would say through pictures and household objects. I was able to give a word to a fellow student that she totally had confirmed to her as God’s presence fell on her-wowzers!!! God in his loving kindness confirmed her word to me (given before this) through the word I gave to her!!!!!
After the activation session we gathered in our ‘Courage Groups’ and I was able to share my story. The love and security I felt as I sobbed my way through it made it possible for me to get through it and talk for the allocated 30 minutes. I almost expected the EastEnders theme music to kick in at this point… Dum,dum, dum. They each prayed over me and brought words for me afterwards which I was so grateful for. To be honest I felt euphoric afterwards as I knew that I had just stepped out from a stronghold of fear and shame that has been holding me back for too many years. I felt accepted and encouraged by God and the group.
I want to encourage anyone who feels like they are living in shame, guilt or fear to find someone they trust and share their fears and insecurities. It is hard and painful but worth it as I can honestly say… Freedom Comes!!!!!
Thank you to my ‘Courage Group’, you are amazing!!