October 2014
Fathers Heart
As I enjoy this half term break and have a chance to take stock it is giving me chance to reflect on what has been a whirlwind blowing through my life-‘TSM‘ (Training for Supernatural Ministry).
It has been a roller coaster ride that I stepped on to back at the start of September with a ‘Getting to Know You’ weekend and a ‘Fathers Heart’ conference at the start of October and weekly trips to Bedford for awesome teaching, worship and testimonies sandwiched in between.
I feel incredibly privileged to be part of such an amazing, life changing course and feel already that life will never be the same again!!! Which is the point and reason for doing this in the first place. The quality of teaching I have experienced already is mind blowing and I feel that it will impact me more and more as the year goes on as the truth I am hearing sinks deep into my ever softening heart.
The words of Sam Cox that I heard at Newday 2014 come to mind-‘The Rebuild/Brand New’.
Your love has taken me apart and a new heart is beating for you within.
I’m a rebuild.
Grace, love and truth is what I’m made from.
New bones, new life that you’re awakening.
I’m a rebuild.
Day by day, You’re changing me to be more like you,
I won’t ever be the same!!
My God is living in my DNA, my Saviours love is running through my veins.
Your Spirit’s work is redefining me and making me holy.
All shame is totally erased, all guilt is banished away from me.
I’m a Rebuild.
No blame, no hint of condemnation,
Your name is now my IDENTITY.
I’m a rebuild.
Day by day, you’re changing me to be more like you,
I won’t ever be the same!!
During the Fathers Heart Conference God has been speaking to me about being adopted into ‘The Family’ and that I am NOT hidden from Him. I felt Him say that it’s time to live outside the box and let my light shine for Him!
I feel I am growing in hearing Gods voice too and this has been so helpful and encouraging for me as I am often like Thomas (full of doubt). In fact, during the Fathers Heart Conference I wrote a prayer in my journal for the second day about what I wanted God to speak to me about. PJ who was preaching the morning session actually quoted a phrase I had written in my prayer to start the session which completely floored me! The reality hit me that I am hearing from God who created the universe and he speaks to ME! Wow!!!!!!!!!! More Lord and guide me in using it wisely.
I have a book review to hand in at the beginning of December based on ‘Experiencing the Fathers Embrace’ by Jack Frost. This is a powerful book about identity and the Fathers heart. It has been challenging and eye opening in equal measure. I feel particularly challenged about being forgiven for things I have done in the past but still living in shame.
As I set off for TSM this week I had this on my mind and my journey was delayed by 30 minutes meaning I arrived late to the session. I was anxious about being late and disappointed about what I might have missed out on! However, God had other plans and ambushed me as I stepped in! I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in a major way and a handful of people came and prayed over me. God dealt with the shame and I walked into a real breakthrough like I have never experienced before. I was so incredibly grateful and blown away that yet again God knows ME and exactly what I need all the time. He is so gracious and I am totally in awe of his goodness towards me.
I am indeed a REBUILD!!!!!!!
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